Thursday, November 30, 2006

Likhe Jo Khat Tujhe


My friends, wherever they are

Hi y’all

Another vacation is upon me.. but sadly, it is the last one, in the next 3 years. So, I intend to laze around, and make it as unproductive as possible. Of course, being me, that won’t take much effort.

In the grand tradition of all the students, of seasons past, and seasons to come, hols are the perfect opportunity, to catch up on all the movies that you miss while college is on.

I have been averaging around 3 flicks a day.. I am not complaining at all, but my mom is already budgeting the cost of my next, MORE POWERFUL spectacles.

I caught up on Don(no comments please,,,) and vivah.. now that is a movie which is a brilliant example of identifying your core target audience, and catering to them, unabashedly.

It is structured to tug at the hearts and the hands holding the handkerchiefs, of the Bhabhis and saas, across the hindi heartland. While I did not think too highly of it, it remains an ok, watchable film. But word of caution, don’t watch it with the female of the species.. you run the risk of being labeled “ Insensitive”, when you cant help sniggering at several sequences.

I did not think too much of Dhoom2. it remains an expensive, yet thoughtless imitation of several movies which we have committed to memory. And it baffles me, how a skinny bones Ash, can become an object of admiration.. watchable on DVD or Tv, when it comes out.. that’s my opinion..

Gonna catch up on Casino royale this week.

I heard the music of Guru.. as usual, for a Rehman score, you have to grow close to it.. but it is def one of his best scores to date.. 4 and a half thumbs to Mani and A.R.

And for literature, I read Jude the Obscure.. I would recommend this book to anyone, wishing to be a journo or a writer, not because the writing is brilliant, but because I think, that the book is a work of courage.

Let me explain. Thomas hardy wrote it in the 19th century. The book deals with failed marriage, divorce, marriage between cousins, separation from the church, searing dismissal of the papal doctrines of leading life, child murder and adultery.

Now, imagine writing all this, in today’s times... there would be a parliamentary inquiry, and the book would be banned.. TV channels would have material for their talk shows for a month and so on..

Now, hardy wrote it in 19th Century, and braved the cold shoulders of the church, the parliament, and ostracism by his peers. As a favor to the publisher, he modified the ending, to show that JUDE, an immoral man, by society’s standards( a point that is debatable, which is the essence of the book), must suffer, as “ Wickedness must be punished!” sounds familiar, doesn’t it?

Apart from that, I have been reading a 7 part volume, called the Krishna Avatara, by K.L. Munshi.

It is a practical take, on how the legend of shri Krishna could have come about. It also offers information, that we generally do not get, as most of us, have only grown up on 3 interpretations of Ved Vyasa’s Mahabharata and the Vishnu Purana.

I recommend reading it, for those interested in reading about Indian mythologies.

In other news, I watched the Lok Sabha session today, for a change. While the behaviour of the Honourable Members has not improved a lot, I was very impressed by the arguments, put forth by Shrimati Sushila Mahajan( I think that was the name), who raised the issue of inflation, in the house at 5in the evening, when the parliament was empty.

While her points would merit a whole post, I will stick to the last point she made, to Mr. Sharad Pawar, who was also present.

She wanted to know, why, a government, which pays it’s farmers, only 700 per quintal of wheat, and had tonnes rotting away in storage, paid a huge sum, of around 1100 per quintal of wheat, from Australia, to feed the same farmers!!

Mr. Pawar’s mind was noticeably elsewhere( might I suggest, that he was preparing for interviews on ganguly’s return, to the team?)

A scandal of massive proportions, is being ignored by all, in the wake of a delayed sanju judgement, and shibu soren’s conviction.. which exposes BJP’s hypocrisy, as JMM was part of NDA once..

and i am disgusted with a news media, that has more airtime for Aishwarya's Kundali and Sanjay Dutt's judgement, and little on the increasing deforestation in tribal areas( save for the Hindu) and the rise in personal Loans to foreigns Banks.. trust me, that is heading us on the Argentinian way, yet not a whimper of concern, from our Economic experts..

Well, that’s about all I have done thus far.. what have you been upto? Do keep me updated on what’s going on..

Catch up with ya later..



Wednesday, September 27, 2006

a century ago

some very significant things, that took place, a hundred years ago:

  • Britain finally adopted an Indian Standard Time.. thus setting into motion, a century long struggle, for the college student, to arrive in class, on TIME
  • Rolls Royce was officially registered.. and true beauty and snobbishness, made a graceful merger, a long long time, after cleopatra's passing away( AHH! What a pretty nose!)
  • The Great Earthquake of San Francisco, happened. and i am not such an inhuman beast, to make a triviality, of such a tragedy.
  • the first Phonographic Player, called the Victorola, was manufactured. think of it as the first steps of man, before he WALK(man)ed away, to the gradens to music, to pluck the delicate (I) Pods
  • SOS was internationally adopted as a distress call.. and dolphins were laughing, at how, despite all our so called " Intelligence", the only language, on the high seas, were CLICKS
  • the first Commercial feature film, called " the story of the Kelly Gang" was released. and thus, people unfit for any other decent job, suddenly found themselves, fully occupied and paid, for not doing anything noteworthy, but just bitch in general. we also call them Movie Critics..
  • The All India Muslim League was formed. and so, Sunny Deol could, ninety years later, make a comeback, and shout his lungs out, and indian music composers no longer had to feel guilty about lifting western music. oh, and we became a nation of great batsmen..
much thanks to wiki, for making this possible..

Friday, September 22, 2006

A Civil Right Part 1

Well, this post is strictly aimed at a very niche junta.. I know that most of you might feel this post is not worth your while, to go through, so go ahead and skip this. This is serious fanboy stuff here.

Now, ordinarily, being the only guy in my class, who actively spends hours online, to keep track with what the comic book industry is dishing out these days( I think), I am accustomed to being the outcast.

So yeah, I did identify with Peter Parker and ilk, way back in school. Which resonates with most comic geeks, I know.

And being in India, was a toughie, as the DC and Marvel issues we got in libraries, were old stuff. I mean , I even read an old issue, with the 1st appearance of Superboy in it.

That issue is now worth a cool 50K $, but I never told my librarian that.. anyways, I was on the verge of quitting on comics for good. Cos most stories were meting out the same thing over and over again. I had also almost quit on Bruce Wayne, when they healed his broken back overnight, and Peter Parker, when the awful Clone saga started.

So, till 2003, I kept in touch with the continuity, intermittently, but still, querying FTP servers, for old issues.

But last 3 years, saw a renaissance of sorts. First off, I think Jim Lee is the best thing to happen to comics, since Frank Miller. I fell in love with Selina Kyle, again( for like 3rd time), after reading HUSH.

I seriously recommend it to people, who aren’t remotely interested in comics, to go through it, for the artwork alone.

Then, Marvel unleashed the powerful, gripping House of M. I mean the characterization was on the lines of what we read, in good novels. And for once, a big crossover, had a serious repercussion on the comic universe( after 84, when the Crisis on Infinite Earths, wiped out BILLIONS of people).

I mean, the biggest change was, that the mutants, were down to a real MINORITY for a long long time.

Then, DC came up with the Infinite Crisis, which has thankfully removed all the darkness that had crept into the comics industry. Face it, most children wouldn’t feel right, reading the stories that were written upto 2004.

And now DC has 52 which is slowly unfolding into a beautiful piece of comic storytelling.

But, now back to the relevance to the photo on top. Read part 2 below..

A Civil Right Part 2

Marvel has started the best crossover of all time, titled Civil War. Why?

For a change, the two sides battling it out, aren’t villains Vs the Heroes. Oh no..

For the first time, it’s HEROES VS HEROES..

Beat that DC..

Well, the story line goes something like, due to certain events, unfolding in the marvel universe, the American government makes it mandatory for super heroes to register with the government or not operate at all.

Which effectively meant, that unless you complied with the government, you were an outlaw.

Which kind of resonates with the Patriot Act.

So, there are two sides. One Pro registration, and one anti Registration. And unlike regular comics, the split goes right into the heart of the Superheroes tribe.

Some, like Iron Man and Spiderman, are for registration, and join with the US government.

And, the biggest result of this, is that PETER PARKER REVEALS HIS IDENTITY TO THE WORLD!!!!

Now, I have never seen an action with such ramifications, for a long long time.

And for the greatest irony, the celebrated World War veteran, that American icon, the man with the red white and blue on his dress, and the star on his shield, Captain America, decides not to register!!

So, now, the government and it’s registered supers, are on a hunt, to round off all the dissenters.

Meanwhile, Cap is trying to gather those who feel like him, and have an army of sorts.

It’s leading up to something really big.. and the thing is, the basic concept is about the dilemma we all face. Where do we draw the dividing line, between subservience to the state, and individual conscience..

And what are the foundations of friendships? How will you treat someone, who disagrees with you, on a core level?

The writing is fanatabulous, artwork is tops, and the pacing is brilliant. I just hope, that they are able to end it on a satisfying level.

Marvel has redeemed my faith in comics.

And yeah, the geek in me still lives on...

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

the hidden secret

you know, amidst all the hype, about the tremendous BOMB blast, at a prominent VC's residence recently,( which turned out, not to be a bomb, after all), one detail in the world around us, got unnoticed.

save for the dedicated brethren, who still uphold, the centuries hallowed tradition, of bunking college and dredging their way, to the cinema, closest to their coll, none else, have bothered to note, the alarming rise, in ticket costs, all around chennai.

before you brush it off, as a one off thing, only at satyam, let me assure you, that even at the best theaters, like udayam, and Kasi, one can now purchase, what was once, a Princely,40 bucks, wow you must be rich, box seat, for a now, you definitely need a credit card, 70 BUCKS!!! and at satyam, it's fairly simple. you just pay twice as much as you used to, to come out and crib about the movie later on.

and on a side note, for the last 2 days, there is no ZEE sports on air, even as i speak.. just as teh tri series is going on..

something smells fishy here you know.. and it's not just karawadu

Thursday, September 07, 2006


yeah, it's true.. despite what you might have thought, and all the misgivings that i might have had, archiry continues on, for another year..

and i owe it all, to all those, who didn't read me first 30 posts, something which would have prompted a setting up of stop this blog community, on orkut...

too late, those ridiculous posts are lost to humanity forver.. cos better sense prevailed( for once), and i deleted those first attempts of mine...

as a sample though, there are a few weaker ones, thAT i have left untouched...

so, a year on, what has changed?

well, for starters, no one would have believed it back then, but months have gone by, without any india matches.. imagine, our players complaining, that they arent getting enough matches!!!

Darrell, Zizou and Agassi, were Hair today, and gone tomorrow( though the exits were remarkably different, in nature and grace).. and if reports are to be believed( OH, SAY IT AIN'T SO, PLEEEEAAAASE!!!!) Michael has lost the drive, and politely said F! to motorsport( yeah, go ahead agnostic guy, ur sarcasm is awaited :) )

Superman Return(ed) to earth, to find that the world has gone by, and learned to live without him.. and that no one welcomes him, anymore.. and i am not just talking about the movie's script here, oh no..

the Left continues to play that child's game, we call In/Out, with the congress.. and the Bechaara Jungli Politicians watch on helplessly, sunk into the ground, by a " Mole" in their midst..

TamilNadu said "AMMA stop that" , and moved onto younger leaders( HAAH!! Like that's gonna ever happen!!)

Preity Zinta's hubby goes abroad for 2 years, without returning, and she gives birth to a superboy... this logic, Krrishi se mat kehna..

and poor female, has to lose a husband, to a frigid ice queen(Ash got competition, at last), and no one felt bad... in fact, a friend of mine said " Kabhi Karan Na Kehna"

the Pm's Nuclear Energy deal blew up in his place... catty sources said the idea was destined to bomb out, in the first place..

we still have no idea, what Sonia Gandhi really looks like, after that famous " i listened to my inner voice" , which , some say, exclaimed " Mama Mia"...

Natwar Singh remains a foreign neta, within the congress.

TN is the only state, where rice is cheap.. 2 per Kilo.. beat that, anyone?

on a personal note,

my weight chart went haywire, like a ship in a stormy sea.
my hairline is showing remarkable rates of decceleration.. in fact, it's just 200 Mph short of creating a sonic boom.
and my heart still lies safely ensconced within the confines of my chest, much to my friends eternal suspicion and disbelief..

so, all in all, not a bad year.. best thing of course, was that Lara Croft made a smashing return to the console, and to my heart.. that of course, is the subject of my other blog( ZZT!! shameless plug)..

so, thanks y'all, for reading and commenting.

know this,

no matter who you are, or where you are,


Saturday, August 26, 2006

My Very Educated Mother Just Showed Us Nine (Blank)

yeah, that's right. this is a post, about one of the most monumental moments in my life.. you know, how it is, when, you are told, that the idol you have worshipped for so long, had feet of clay.

you feel a tear bubbling under your eyes, then the floddgates open, and good bye, calm persona...

the events over last 3 days, have left me with little faith in humanity now.. nothing, it seems, is sacred any more... there is nothing that a bunch of human beings will not descerate, in the name of progeressive science..

i speak of course, of the removal of Pluto, from the exalted council of planets..

my astrologer uncle, told me, that he had foreseen this calamity( " It was under the influence of Saturn you know, very very evil planet!!").. And never once did he warn us, about it..

imagine, an entire childhood of naming Pluto, as one of the nine planets.. the number of quizzes, that i won, just because i was the only guy, who knew the name of that " Small, blue planet, outtest(sic) in solar system".. what happens to the results of those quizzes now, huh?

there was an irritating guy , who was my nemesis, in 2nd std. we used to battle it out in quizzes, and exams( now, of course, even harbouring such thoughts, of competing for scholastic achievements, on my part, require the greatest suspension of belief, in mankind's history)..

and we were even stevens, right upto 5th, where i beat him in a quiz, which asked us to name the outermost planet.

and on the same day, in my GK test, i wrote the nine planets in order(courtesy the title of this post)..

needless to say, i was up, in our tally(something like 11-10, in my favor).. and then, i left Jamshedpur..

needless to say, that guy grew up in a complex, the memories of his defeat to me(he told me once- " of all the people in this country, why did i lose to YOU!!!!!"), scarred him emotionally, completely..

now, with this news, do my answers, stand incorrect now? does this mean that we have a status quo still? will it ever make him a normal human being again? does this mean, that whatever ego i had, because of this, must now shrivel and die?

and it's not just this... now textbooks will have to be corrected.. maps will have to be republished.. teachers will have to be retrained, in astronomy, to get rid of the habit..

Disney will have to come up with another reason, for naming Pluto (what else?) Pluto..

there will be books, about conspiracies against a poor innocent planet, by the Big brother, Arrogant Earth( Jupiter sighs, due to gas problems).. there will be counter claims, by the scientists, who will justify their decisions.

there will be an outcry on the internet, where people will spend 10 min more, per week, to put their opinion.. and i have spent 20 so far, btw..

then, Hollywood wont let go of this oppurtunity. either Discovery, or Warner Bros., will launch a space probe, make a Docu/ Film called " Pluto : Planet or Not!!"..

and Nasa will get more funds, to prove, once and for all, if Pluto is or is not a planet..

all in all, around 3 Billion $ will move around the globe...

i smell something fishy here.. i invite my good conspiracy theorist friend, to look into it..

Entrez Vous, Dan Brown..

Thursday, August 17, 2006

Need For Speed 2

this is more of a PS to what i wrote yesterday. so if you havent read that piece, then please read this after you have finished reading part 1.

right, i will make this really brief...

i mentioned the power to weight ratios yesterday.. i realise that i might have left picture incomplete . so here's the list of P2W ratios, for those interested..

Bugatti Veyron- 529 BHP/tonne

Zonda F Clubsport- 521( this is the production version, the first prototype, without any cockpit, reached a 1000 BHP/tonne figure)

Ferrari Enzo-483

Koenigsegg CCX-765!

now, to put things into perspective, here's the specification for the 2006 F1 car, made up by the FIA..

The 2006 F1 cars have a power-to-weight ratio of 1250 hp/tonne (930 W/kg)

that translates into some dizzying numbers.. like

0 to 100 km/h: 1.9 seconds
0 to 200 km/h: 3.9 seconds
0 to 300 km/h: 8.4 seconds

an F1 car can come to a complete stop from 300 km/h in less than 3.5 seconds. without locking UP!!!!

so, here's to all the petrosexuals( i came across this term in autocar india)...

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

need for speed!!!

most of my teenage nights were spent in fantasies( Not those kind, you pervert you!!!).. while some of those did involve skydiving, climbing Mt Everest, and getting a Nobel prize( it's a fantasy people!!!), some nights, in my dreams, a blur of scarlet would appear, and my dream would break up.

I would wake up, hold my head in my hands, and check them tears.... but that vision of holding the steering wheel, with the prancing horse in it, would prove so moving, and the realisation that most likely, i might one day die and be forgotten in the annals of time, without ever experiencing the force of 2 G, as an enzo sets off, overwhelmed me..( yeah i know, the Enzo came much after the ashes of my teenage years lay to rest somewhere, so substitute a modena there)

i am still nowhere remotely close to having my dream realised, but the last few months have slowly forced me to create a space, in the enshrined hallow that me mind had set apart, for ferrari..

2 companies, by the names of Pagani, and Koenigsegg( go on, try pronouncing it ;) ), have increased my agony.. now, i fear that i may die, without ever touching a Ferrari, or a Zonda or, that masterpiece, every millionaire worth his dollar's dream, the CCX..

now for a flashback.. way back, around 1986, there was a little known car called the McLaren F1..

now, anyone who has driven it, would tell you, that it was like a deathwish, driving that car, and that most people actually took mind numbing injections, to supress their fear, while driving it.

ok, maybe that last bit was an exaggeration, but still, fact is, it shattered the speed record for a production car, clockin in that magic number, that all car lovers have memorised( like bradman's average), 241 MPH (385 KPH) on a straight. And drove straight into many car freaks hearts.

that record held for nealy 18 years.. seems incredible isnt it? that despite all the progress we made in that time, a car made in 86 was still the fastest on the planet..

well, you have to remember, that 241 MPH was made on a straight piece of airway tarmac..
in those intervening years, cars have become faster around the corners( the SLR is faster than the F1 , in corners, by around 40 MPH), and much safer to drive..

so, anyways, in 2002, came the koenigsegg CCR, which came straight off the production line, lined up on the test track, and clocked in 242 MPH!!!

the earth split, and skies cracked, and Mclaren almost panicked..
to get a sense of what actually happened, just imagine a newcomer in brazil, entering the world cup for the 1st time, and scoring 10 goals in one tournament..

so, the CCR held the record, but, in came TOP GEAR with a new format, and they have a pretty good lap setup, for cars to prove how fast they are, overall..

every episode since, they have a chart, which maintains the lap times posted by cars, driven by that man, every child wants to be, THE STIG(will we ever get know, if he's human or not??)

well, till a few months ago, the top car was the masterpiece of automobile engg(i am a full blooded TIFOSI, so shoot me) was the ENZO.

then, Pagani, a small company, came in with the Zonda F, which had a 500 BHP engine.. nothing remarkable on the surface, but the car weighed only 500 KG!! that makes a power to weight ratio of 1000 BHP/ tonne!!

sure enough, the Zonda came in at the top... and all looked well, for the dreamers like me..

Enter Bugatti, with the Veyron.. if you havent heard of it, shame on you.. it costs around 700,000 pounds, and, this is where it gets interestin, apparently, has a top speed of ( hold your breath!!) 405 KPH!!!! that's right, 405..

so,anyways, the problem was, bugatti are very secretive about the car. only a few pieces have been sold to select buyers( which includes the like of Beckham).. more to it, they have refused to let Even Jeremy Clarkson, feature it on the show, making people suspect, that, maybe, just maybe, bugatti concentrated too much on straight line, and cut around the corners(pun intended).

remember i had mention koeningsegg earlier? there's a reason..

they decided, that for far too long, they had languished in the background, and was time to assert themselves..

they released the CCX.. if ever there was poetry on 4 wheel, this was it, my friends.. an 850 BHP V6 engine, screamed F1 performance..

and it did.. on Top gear, it shattered the Enzo's record, by a fair mile.. only after, it challenged the mighty STIG and forced him to crash(the only car, that proved too much for him)..

and this is the best part, the car posted it's time, AFTER, they put rear spoilers on the car(which actually slows the car around cars, by generating excessive downforce)..

like putting 1 KG shoes on Powell, and him still braking the olympic record..

and the CCX posted 398 KPH, right out of the box...

the thing that most of us swift watching, and enzo dreaming guys are anticipating this year, is a straight down drag strip battle between the veyron and the CCX...

and, there go my nights again!! sigh!!!

and if you want to, check both these beauties out on the net. SIGH!!! if only....

Monday, August 14, 2006

ID 15

All set for the flurry of patriotic barrage tomorrow. All those grumbling scrooges will suddenly rediscover their love for our nation. And all that carping about our faulty system, the nexus all around us, the poor INFRASTRUCTURE ( favorite word of all noveau upper class segment, a sure sign that they have arrived), poor hygiene etc, will suddenly vanish.

Everyone will be all smiles for a day, pin a flag on their dresses, watch Vande Mataram ( took a SONY Music to arrive, for such an album to release), or a RangDe Basanti, the rest of the day, as if it were Sunday.

INDEPENDENCE DAY!!! Pah! Humbug...

We do not know and cherish our independence, nor do we appreciate what a boon this freedom is.

None of us ever count ourselves blessed, that we and our parents, were born, without the burden of oppression, weighing us down.

There is also a wistful talk, gaining currency( pun intended), that had we continued under the British rule, we might have progressed further than the place we find ourselves in.

All our troubles seem to be caused, either by 1) “ Those dirty politicians” or 2) “ The aging and outdated bureaucracy!!”

How convenient.. though, fact remains, that both of the above, remain reflections of the current state of society, which is made up of people like you and me.

We bemoan the lack of ethics and honesty, yet, pride ourselves, by telling tales of times, when we got the better of the law, or bent the law, to our advantage.

We keep despairing, that if, somehow, we could give telephones, and roads, and other things that are paired under the term “ Infrastructure”, somehow, the villager, who doesn’t earn enough to even earn a square meal for his family, will transform into a picture of rural prosperity.

We grow up today, in an atmosphere, that rewards an adoption of value systems and practices, that have entered our shores, on a tourist visa. Think about it. While Tamil Nadu is relatively better off, as far as linguistic preservation is concerned, the average populace, feels that proficiency in mother tongue, is not essential, as much as a knowledge of English or Hindi is.

We are a generation, that dreams of going abroad , and work there, after polishing off an education there.

We are a generation, who do not believe that going out to vote, is a essential duty. No, the common refrain is “ there is nobody worth voting for”. Thus, the 400 million people, who nevertheless turn up to vote, are dismissed, as people whose sensibilities lie on a lower scale than the “Smart” You.

We are a generation, that looks down on professions like teaching, or on women or men( Yes, Men!!) who take the option of running a home, rather than slog in an office.

We are a generation, that judges a man’s worth, only by the last line, in the person’s pass book.

We are a generation that can discuss The beatles, but will be hard pressed, to name atleast 5 ragas, or 5 epics.

We are a generation, that has no time for appreciation of literature( not popular trash, meted out in name of pot boilers), theater, drama, philosophy( That guy thinks he is some big philosopher, hah hah!!), religion, cinema( as opposed to movies, there’s a difference you know).

We are a generation, that knows more America, than the heartland of India. Who can name places in New York, but not agartala. Who will gladly take a trip to London, but will blink on suggestions of lakshadweep.

We are a generation that can identify a Bill Clinton, but not a J.P. Narayan.

We are a generation, that prefers eating pizzas, to idli, and don’t mind the trips to the cardio later on.. it’s the price we have to pay for progress, you see.

We are also the generation, that is going to smash the records, for broken marriages, psychological counseling, stress disorders, job hopping, and burnouts.

And the scary thing is... we are the generation, that is going to run this country, for the next 20 years..

INDEPENDENCE DAY!!! Pah! Humbug...

P.S. : I know what many will say:

1) you’ve got some issues man!

2) Aren’t you one of those yourself?

3) So what, if I like doing these things? You got a problem with that?

4) Why bother? Just get along in life!!

5) I don’t care..

Saturday, August 12, 2006

alvida kehna padega

It’s really a very bad time, to be in karan johar’s boots right now. Now, don’t mistake me, I have never liked a single movie of his, and have not yet committed the sin, of watching any of them on the big screen.

Far from it, I am in fact, as my classmates will testify, quite the bugbear, when it comes to discussions on his oeuvre.

But you have to feel sorry for the guy. His latest tear jerker was released yesterday, amidst tremendous hype, and within one hour of the ending of the first screening, news channels(except that supposed saint NDTV) went on a blitz, to cover audience reactions.

And, most of them announced quite smugly, that KANK was more SKUNK and was surely going to TANK at the B.O.

Well, it seems surprising, that one man and his movie would draw such ire, from the media.

Sure, it’s a lousy movie. Even my friends who absolutely devour rona dhona stuff reverently, told me that this was definitely not a movie that was worth the 150 bucks they forked out.

Sure, the movie doesn’t live upto it’s hype, and the music sounds just like a cover version of Kal Ho Naa Ho.

Sure, SRK hams his way throughout, and the others really have not much to do, in substantial terms.

But surely, those aren’t causes enough, for this outrage and vitriol to come out in full force.

Headlines Today, in particular, seems pleased to announce that KANK is not a “ Typical Karan Film”.

Poor guy has just made 2 movies before this, and produced two. How can a generalization be arrived at?

And about the hype, well, it’s the movie biz for god’s sake.. try investing 40 Crores and then not publicize your efforts.. plus, wasn’t the media too, eager to partake in adding to the hype?

Don’t mistake me. I am not suggesting anyone to watch this movie. Nor am I defending Karan as a director.

All I am saying is, give the guy a break. This movie doesn’t look like it’s going to top this year’s collection records.

That ought to be verdict enough.

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

hatred and ill effects

you know, today, there was this really boring class( i know all of them are, but this was the tops).
i got a flash back to my IIT classes in the now dim summer of 2001.

there i was, all wet behind the ears, truly believing in the lie, that a lot of hours spent with the prescribed sure shot guide books( absolute bargain!!! 3 for price of one!!!) and enduring the torture of classes from 5 to 8 and then 10 to 1, on sundays(!!!), would suddenly bump up my till then dormant mind, into stratospheric zones, and leap frog into the hallowed and media shined(stretching grammar here, but what the hell) gates of IIT.

well, 2nd class onwards, it was a tremendous struggle against newton's laws of gravity, trying to stop my falling head, from joining the class table.

somehow, sleeping made me dream of elizabeth hurley and Ash, which made for a far better sunday morning, than trying to figure out the mysteries of molarity and molalities.

and i used to feel like this typical good for nothing guy in the movies(but who ultimately hits it big), when i never used to respond to the enthusiasm with which my friends attacked a conversion problem( Wurtz Vs Hoffman was a truly polarizing moment in classroom, students actually threatened each other with test tubes).

so, to come back from the past, there i was, terribly bored.. and due to unfortunate turn of events, i was seated in the FRONT BENCH!!! i had boldly gone, where i had never gone before....

and here i was, that old familiar feeling coming again, of head on a collision course with the table..

had to think of something fast, to distract my sleeping mind.. so, while normally, i think of Keira, this time, i had to resort to this poetry.. had my own set of bull !@$% scruples to adhere to..

it's titled- A Rose that became a Thorn, or Milk that has turned Sour...

Why must we argue, for arguement's sake?
This much anger, leaves hate, in it's wake.
Now it seems impossible, we were friends before,
We are moving apart, like waves from the shore.

It kills me now, to think of those times,
We would kill for each other, Partners in Crime.
For you, i would have, the whole world fought.
But now, your hurt, doesn't leave me distraught.

All thoughts of you, prick me like a thorn,
It's best if we stop,let new friendships be born.
I lie hoping, that time can, heal my wounds,
That this darkness shall make way, for a shiny moon.

I am fighting so hard, not to sink into Hate.
Nor curse unto you, a miserable fate.
So please remove yourself, from the realms of my eye.
Let me never hear, the echoes of your cries.

I am begging you, to take your leave.
And all the things, from each other, that we recieved.
Let there not remain, a single trace,
Of the time, we held each other's hearts, in Grace.

I am glad, this torment's over,
Now we can move on.
Never will i ponder,
Where all that love had gone..

yeah, it's over..

P.S. for the sake of my continuing existence, let me assure you. that there are no real life ppl, on whom this is based. just wrote it for a lark. it was Cathartic (another of those perfectly useless words, never found anywhere outside CAT/GRE manuals).

Friday, August 04, 2006

Death of a Martyr

My friends and family lie convinced,
i drape a curtain over their sights.
The person they love, they think, is
a result, of imagination's flight.

And that a wolf lurks beneath,
the finest coat of wool, on a sheep.
That one day, these jaws will snap,
on those caught in my image trap.

I lie poked, and stabbed, but still,
not to move, lest those shrill,
voices utter their terrible cry:
“ This man's life is all a lie!”

And yet, if I not respond to their,
jabs and jives, nor their stares,
My guilt, they shall proclaim.
My silence, a reason to maim,
Damnation, would they joyfully declare..

All because, I never did mould,
to the shape, ordained by the world of old.
All because, I listened to my heart,
from servitude, did I depart,
onwards to my destiny..

And because, i spoke in a tongue,
they understood, and they tried to run.
But my vision, did theirs shorten,
as it tugged at longings, long forgotten.

Ashamed them to admit,
they felt as I did.
That it's not a crime, to dream of being splendid.

That all of us, beneath the skin,
are flesh and bones, kith and kin.

That the only god, lies within,
the walls of conscience, untouched by sin.

That the wealth of the heart, greater than gold.

This new world is the same as the old.

And we live in a world, which worships vice.

Backs are stabbed, deemed a fair price.

It hurt them, when I called their bluff,

All their money would never be enough.

For one who cared not a pence,

Of how much land lay within the fence,

You set up, to cut yourself,

Off from the rest of the world.

I cry, not for the wounds,

Them, I do not mind.

Saddened, while I see,

My race remains blind.

To the glory, that awaits the one,

Who, all appearances, temptations,

will shun.

Bring forth, the knife, that will end,

Be it may, the final stab, of a friend.

Let me close my sights, on this,

World that has forgotten, it’s heavenly bliss.

Monday, July 31, 2006

age of mythology

A few myths of our age, tend to get bandied about, with much enthusiasm, both by the haves(minority) and the have nots..

One of them being, that at the end of the day, the better man, or product, or ideology will win or triumph.

And the gullible fools that we are , we believe in them, wide eyed and heartened.. all the while, ignoring the evidence strewn around, to the contrary.

Take for instance, the battle of the sexes. If you have interacted with members of the deadlier species(they’ve earned that ttile, believe me ;) ), you would have to be pretty much shallow, and in these days, unchavunistic( word doesn’t exist in MS WORD), to claim that we are better examples of homo sapiens, than them.

Yet, fortunately for us, men pretty much run the engines of the world..

Sad but true.

Not convinced? Ok, let’s take our freedom struggle.. on the face of it, Gandhiji was up against an empire, of which it was famously said, that “the son never gets to sit at the throne” (much to Charles’s chagrin).. so, they hired a PR guy, to put a spin on it( those were the only spinners England produced, for a long long time), and thru clever wordplay, changed it to “ sun never sets on the empire”..

I digress.. anyways, it was only Gandhiji and his modest clothing, up against the king and 40 % of the world... it shudnt have posed much of a problem for them English, to put him down, yeah?

Well, 59 years later, we know the answer to that.

Or, take Apple Vs Microsoft... once you have used the Mac Os(esp X onwards), you realize that the Skoda you were driving( or, in this case, Windows), was a horse cart, compared to Merc in your hands...

Yet, Microsoft spoilt Steve Jobs apples, leading to the world first virtual sin( Bill bit the apple, bwah hah hah!!) and 97 % of PC users trudge on with OS crashes, missing files, driver issues etc.. while the Mac users feel like they are the descendants of the Elves from LOTR..

Was going to mention the whole reservation thing, and how, it pulls the incentive to perform, out from under you feet, but we will leave that discussion for some other day..

Or, take the battle between USA and Russia.. it was called a cold war, because things got quite heated up, in between. On the one hand, Russia had the might of philosophy of Marx, Engels and literature like Dostoevsky and a whole lot of Vodka...

America had marx(groucho kind), angels(the baseball kind) and archie comics and DC.. plus a whole lot of beer..

Who would you have picked to win?

Yeah, poor old roshiya Motoska lost out, all because Bruce Willis and a whole lot of Hollywood stars, destroyed the language, with their accents..

So much so, that the Russian people never forgave their presidents, this insult to the GREAT LANGUAGE...

And, AK 47 and Vodka spread out, happily ever after..

Of course, one positive aspect of this was, that tennis benefited immensely , and women’s tennis actually became watchable( even if reason were non sport related)..

So, anyhowz, in conclusion, don’t believe in that stupid adage any more than u have to... and nice guys always finish last..

Like I have bitterly found out ...

Sunday, July 23, 2006

requiem for a lad

you know, the other day, i was brushing my teeth. there is nothing remarkable in that particular activity, in itself, but, while i attempted, to manouver the last remains of the elachi, into the depths of my, uhh, whatever... i noticed two protrusions on my upper jaw.

boy, was that a long sentence or what..

anyways, panic set in soon, and alarms went off in my tiny, nanoscopic brain... you see, that was the moment, i knew, that i had officially crossed over, into the dark side..

i had become, shudder!!!, a full fledged, card carrying member, of that vile, hated club, we call " ELDERS!!!!!"..

The horror....

i dont know which smart ass, came up with the name of wisdom teeth.. they are anything but that.. more like, wisDOOM teeth..

you know, it's not that you have two more molars to clean up from now on. no.. that's not the problem..

the problem is, you know, once you have hit that stage, in your life, there is no turning back..

from now on, you cant officially wear torn jeans, without listening to that snaigger behind your back.

you will suddenly find that adam sandler movie disgusting, after laughing your whole teenage away, at his movies.

you will suddenly care about your scalp, but those hairy days will never return..

your biscuits and six packs, will mysteriously transform into barrells and tyres.

on that last point though, since i never had the privilege of washboards, i guess, i wont be affected..

while your teenage was spent in the wish that you would grow up sooner, all of a sudden, you will realise just how quickly the wrinkles and grey hair appear. that wasnt ever taken into account, was it?

remember how u used to make fun of that "UNCLE", who, u felt, was trying too hard to make an impression? one day, you will look in the mirror and GASP!! that uncle is you!!!

i can see it already, me wearing shirts 3 sizes larger than those i am having now, constantly combing non existent hair, trying to suck that gut in, when a member of the female species walks past, trying to talk like a person twenty years younger to me, gasping for breath when i walk 1 km, and spending most of my vacation, in the relaxing atmosphere of a spa, or clinic..

even worse, i will start liking all that art junk, classical music and will try to get a ferrari...

before u know it, mid life crisis welcomes u into it's arms..


he was a good teenager, and fought for long.
but his wisdom tooth came, and his youth was gone.


Saturday, July 08, 2006

what GAP?

warning: this has nothing to do with that fashion label.... read on..

you know, the other day,

my mom and me got talking.. and looking through her school and college pics, made me realise that the so called generation gap, is not aboutdifferent ideas, or attitudes.. hell no... ask you parents how their teenage days went.

they would list their favorite music, which would include western music, they would have tried experimenting with their looks, clothes.. they too, like us, would have believed in same illusion- that we discovered what love feels like..

only the names would have changed.. the bell bottoms of yesterday, have become the pedal pushers of today( i can hear the divas, goin- " pedal pushers, are like, so yesterday!!!")

the elvis and beatles have been replaced by today's pop assembly line icons.. ( fact is though, none of today's greats, could hold a "candle in the wind" to the greats of those days)

the cary grant and gregory peck has been replaced by the tom cruises of today( dont worry, i cringed while writing this line too)..

point is though, that we grow up, believing that we are so unlike our parents, that it's next to impossible to make them see the truth( " You wouldnt understand dad, you have never been in love!")..

but as i looked at my mom's photo, where her 'gang'(her words, not mine) and her, posed with their arms around each's shoulders, i was struck at how yours truly too, had taken a pic in the exact pose...

i think it's time we acknowledged the truth of our predicament.. the fact is, there exists not a generation gap, but one of communication..

few of us have the ability, to carry on a conversation, entirely in one language.. sooner or later, english or hindi, will make their presence felt..

and honestly, if one were to read the english that our grandparents had to endure, at their school level, i am not sure how many of us would emerge unscathed, from the rigours of spellings and grammar.

nothing can be( should be, could be, actually ;) ) greater proof of this, than the mushrooming of the english speaking classes all around you..

i see some students, handle math and science with ease, but tremble at the prospect of entering the group discussion or public speaking opportunities..

and how many of us could actually speak for an hour, without some expletives creeping into our talk? very few of us, i am sure..

and let's get started started on the most essential area, which has become non existent almost, today..

the art of letter writing..

growing up in an era of TV, and phones, and mailing and chatting, it's not a surprise to me, that the basic and beautiful art of letter writing, has become a relic of a glorious past..

reading the letters written by my dad to his dad, i was struck by the beautiful composition of it, and the symphonic structuring of the letter.. when i asked him, on how he could come up, with such poignant verse, he had a simple observation to make.

" each letter, to me, representd an oppurtunity, to communicate with someone, to tell them, what was my current state of mind. and such opportunities presented themeselves rarely.. maybe once or twice a month, if you could save enough.. so, each letter was crafted with care... i approached it like a scripting session.. made rough copies, re read it, and read it again.."

they took care to see to it, that each letter was one worth cherishing. and such handwriting!!! sigh! seeing the letters my parents wrote to each other, in the months following their engagement, i am entirely convinced, that insofar as handwriting goes, i am truly the black sheep in the family.

but i digress. the point i am trying to make, is that in today's times, we take every thing for granted.. but somewhere down the line, in the pursuit of ease of communication, we lost the penchant for the beauty of careful prose..

think over this.. ten years from now, what will remain of the chats, or conversations that you have had? mere text files, subject to the horrors of magnetism..

you can never wrap them up in cloth, to be looked at again whever you wanted.. you can never look at a computer screen and become wistful.. somehow, paper is the best medium for making one thoughtful..

sure, we have made tremendous economic and social progress..but still, somehow, we have become stilted, when it comes to making our fellow beings, understand what we wish t tell them..

imagine this.. even today, if in the office or class, u see a person who is extraordinarily proficient in english, the most common epithet that is bestowed on him/her is " shakespeare"..

400 years have passed, yet he remains the benchmark, by which we measure the lingual abilities of people.. and find everyone, wanting...

Friday, July 07, 2006

anger management

you know, on the other day, someone i know, asked me- " how the hell, did you manage to get a job? that too at !@@$( it's a company, but i dont have time for lawsuits and suits of any kind)...
some guys have all the luck..."

well, you know, Mr. unnamed friend, you really pissed me off.. so, i wanted to get back at you.. but if there's one thing that i have realised, over the 22 years that i have spent on terra firma(well grounded childhood helps), it's that good revenge is like a meal.. the longer you take to prepare, the better it tastes...

so, i let my anger simmer in me, and then, decided, to mash it all in, and heat in the oil of indignance, and generously sprinkle it, with loads of abuse...

imagine my surprise, when, upon opening the larder of imagination, i found it to be utterly empty... like a locust had held a party and had left only emptiness behind...

" this just wont do", i promised myself... " i am capable of venomous spite, wont give in, without a fight!!"...

so, i started to look for a reason to be angry with the world again... i tried to develop a short temper... i snapped at all those people, whom i knew... i pulled strings, which i knew, would lead supporting structures to collapse..

but nothing worked out... even the pup, whom i growled at, laughed and continued wagging it's tail... i could almost hear it say- " ok two legged funny thing... you got a very high voice, can we get on with the playing please?"

it's disappointing to know, that one of the fundamental rights are being taken away from me... the right to anger..

imagine if there was no anger.... no angry young man, no angry middle aged young man, no angry old man, no angry T Rex, no angry politician( in same order)....

so, i am demanding my right, to be recognised as a human being, capable of anger, and demand that i be treated with avoidance and anger , in return..

it's the democratic thing to do..

Thursday, July 06, 2006

an idle mind and other such things

well, i like to write good night rhymes once in a while.. and pester me friends to read them. so, here's a sample of the inane stuff they have to put up with... and i swear that these are 100 % original....

and much thanks to hema, for collecting them and sending them to me.. u rock :)


Let the stars twinkle tonight,
when they gaze upon your sleeping face.
Good night :-)


Let your mind set at rest,
The world of dreams is the best.
free of trouble,worry and fights,
sleep well and early,have a good night!


The sky is ready,lovely blanket.
Winds are ready,soothing feather.
Nightingale ready to serenade.
As u make your sleep,in your bed.


Fret not on what could have been,
focus insteadon what can be.
Happiness you should keep,
as the innocent make their way to sleep.


Bid adieu to the day of light.
Hate and anger,sorrow and fright.
Laughter,joy,unlimited delight..
await the one who sleeps tonight.


i walkin the clouds,float in the air.
Divein the seas,frollic in the fair.
Of so much happiness do i partake.
must i wake? oh! must i wake!


I am a car running on empty,
A weary traveller looking for respite.
The oasis of dreams lie in my sight,
I trudge on,hoping to reach it tonight.


I have sunk like the titanic, in my lake of sorrow.
Grief of today, can't face tomorrow.
No one from whom, glee i could borrow.
my heart lies stabbed, on the mark of an arrow.


Oh what a tangled web we weave.
Only in end to us decieve.
time does not heal,te ones who grieve.
pain and suffering is all they recieve.


The smell of floowers, warmth of the sun.
A cheerful smile, mark summer's return.
Time for many tales to unfold,
eternal beauty - a joy to behold.


Even on the darkest night,
when nothing lies in sight.
i look to my heart,
it guides me right.
my memories remain my greatest might.
forever burning, ever bright.


I wear an armor, of the thickest hide.
Alone in battle, enemies i smite.
yet slowly i bleed my way to death.
The rose over my heart, thorn in the flesh...


Tired bones,weary sighs, feel that drag all while.
sad times, happy climes, make you glad to be alive.
with that thought, hope you sink in bed so deep,
that the prying hands of the world,won't snatch you from your sleep..


I have missed it the whole day, won't miss it at night.
The face i search for, burn into my sight.
The face that makes me hate, being all alone.
The face that has made my heart,it's own.


Why hath man wrought his blight?
Why kill children,destroy life?
plague the lands, endlessly consume.
erect all buildings,can't see the moon.


The tallest trees starts as a seed.
Earth can move with smallest deed.
One thing satys through hell and after.
Ties of blood run thicker then water.


A heart is fragile, yet we load it with worries.
The mind isn,t agile, to play out our stories.
flesh and bone we are,be happy instead.
a night's rest lies ahead.


courage lies in the heart, not the might o arms.
Wisdom is eternal, not bodily charm.
conscience is the father of the soul.
Keep these in mind, as you reach your goal.


With the passing of day,and onset of night.
The best days of life are taking flight.
i laugh while others despair.
vanity shall never me ensnare.


The oldest wine tastes divine.
Oldest tree has the toughest spine.
ages makes one frail, but also wise.
Savour each day, life's spice.

rest will follow

Saturday, June 24, 2006

zen and the art of illusion

while watchin the Da Vinci Code, in theater( not in india, but UAE), i was struck by something.. how, all of us lead lives, in blind acceptance of illusions that are all around us.. we prefer to sit in the cushion of delibrate ignorance, than face the GROUND realities, so as to speak...

even the most fundamental questions remain unanswered, yet, we choose to go on, without a pause, for the fear that questioning would halt us in our tracks...

for example, the greatest lie foistered on us, is that democracy empowers the masses.. look around you, honestly, and see if that is so.. all we have managed to do, in the absence of monarchy, is replace a nobility of blood, with a nobility of wealth... the aristrocrats of yesteryears, have been replaced with the ministers and industrialists of today..

the only thing that remains the same, is the fate of the destitute... the world over, if you are born poor, then, 90 % of the time, you die poor... the shackles of fate ensnare people so tightly, that making our own destiny remains a dream that few are able to make real...

and, the last few months have shown us, how our so called economic progress was just a lot of optimistic gung ho... all it took was the sensex to dive by 3000 points, and all of a sudden, hitherto unnoticed ' Fundamental Flaws' were discovered in our economic, which were the cause of ' Market Correction'.. now, place this talk of so called progress of last few years, with your life... while your average salary has only grown up by a notch or two, prices have been rising faster than Mallika Sherawat's hemline..

while any man on the streets would have told you, that in 5 years time, a 10 Rs. note would buy you lesser quantities of anything, our ministers were going to town with tales of our prosperity... unfortunately, that's all that they remain.. mere tales...

there are several instances, i am sure, in your life as well, where, you realise all of a sudden that even the most fundamental assumptions of your, were flawed... that can either shatter your morale, or, you can grin and then try to move on, while making place for corrections...

my aim, here, is not to ramble on and on.. so, will cut short...