Monday, July 31, 2006

age of mythology

A few myths of our age, tend to get bandied about, with much enthusiasm, both by the haves(minority) and the have nots..

One of them being, that at the end of the day, the better man, or product, or ideology will win or triumph.

And the gullible fools that we are , we believe in them, wide eyed and heartened.. all the while, ignoring the evidence strewn around, to the contrary.

Take for instance, the battle of the sexes. If you have interacted with members of the deadlier species(they’ve earned that ttile, believe me ;) ), you would have to be pretty much shallow, and in these days, unchavunistic( word doesn’t exist in MS WORD), to claim that we are better examples of homo sapiens, than them.

Yet, fortunately for us, men pretty much run the engines of the world..

Sad but true.

Not convinced? Ok, let’s take our freedom struggle.. on the face of it, Gandhiji was up against an empire, of which it was famously said, that “the son never gets to sit at the throne” (much to Charles’s chagrin).. so, they hired a PR guy, to put a spin on it( those were the only spinners England produced, for a long long time), and thru clever wordplay, changed it to “ sun never sets on the empire”..

I digress.. anyways, it was only Gandhiji and his modest clothing, up against the king and 40 % of the world... it shudnt have posed much of a problem for them English, to put him down, yeah?

Well, 59 years later, we know the answer to that.

Or, take Apple Vs Microsoft... once you have used the Mac Os(esp X onwards), you realize that the Skoda you were driving( or, in this case, Windows), was a horse cart, compared to Merc in your hands...

Yet, Microsoft spoilt Steve Jobs apples, leading to the world first virtual sin( Bill bit the apple, bwah hah hah!!) and 97 % of PC users trudge on with OS crashes, missing files, driver issues etc.. while the Mac users feel like they are the descendants of the Elves from LOTR..

Was going to mention the whole reservation thing, and how, it pulls the incentive to perform, out from under you feet, but we will leave that discussion for some other day..

Or, take the battle between USA and Russia.. it was called a cold war, because things got quite heated up, in between. On the one hand, Russia had the might of philosophy of Marx, Engels and literature like Dostoevsky and a whole lot of Vodka...

America had marx(groucho kind), angels(the baseball kind) and archie comics and DC.. plus a whole lot of beer..

Who would you have picked to win?

Yeah, poor old roshiya Motoska lost out, all because Bruce Willis and a whole lot of Hollywood stars, destroyed the language, with their accents..

So much so, that the Russian people never forgave their presidents, this insult to the GREAT LANGUAGE...

And, AK 47 and Vodka spread out, happily ever after..

Of course, one positive aspect of this was, that tennis benefited immensely , and women’s tennis actually became watchable( even if reason were non sport related)..

So, anyhowz, in conclusion, don’t believe in that stupid adage any more than u have to... and nice guys always finish last..

Like I have bitterly found out ...

Sunday, July 23, 2006

requiem for a lad

you know, the other day, i was brushing my teeth. there is nothing remarkable in that particular activity, in itself, but, while i attempted, to manouver the last remains of the elachi, into the depths of my, uhh, whatever... i noticed two protrusions on my upper jaw.

boy, was that a long sentence or what..

anyways, panic set in soon, and alarms went off in my tiny, nanoscopic brain... you see, that was the moment, i knew, that i had officially crossed over, into the dark side..

i had become, shudder!!!, a full fledged, card carrying member, of that vile, hated club, we call " ELDERS!!!!!"..

The horror....

i dont know which smart ass, came up with the name of wisdom teeth.. they are anything but that.. more like, wisDOOM teeth..

you know, it's not that you have two more molars to clean up from now on. no.. that's not the problem..

the problem is, you know, once you have hit that stage, in your life, there is no turning back..

from now on, you cant officially wear torn jeans, without listening to that snaigger behind your back.

you will suddenly find that adam sandler movie disgusting, after laughing your whole teenage away, at his movies.

you will suddenly care about your scalp, but those hairy days will never return..

your biscuits and six packs, will mysteriously transform into barrells and tyres.

on that last point though, since i never had the privilege of washboards, i guess, i wont be affected..

while your teenage was spent in the wish that you would grow up sooner, all of a sudden, you will realise just how quickly the wrinkles and grey hair appear. that wasnt ever taken into account, was it?

remember how u used to make fun of that "UNCLE", who, u felt, was trying too hard to make an impression? one day, you will look in the mirror and GASP!! that uncle is you!!!

i can see it already, me wearing shirts 3 sizes larger than those i am having now, constantly combing non existent hair, trying to suck that gut in, when a member of the female species walks past, trying to talk like a person twenty years younger to me, gasping for breath when i walk 1 km, and spending most of my vacation, in the relaxing atmosphere of a spa, or clinic..

even worse, i will start liking all that art junk, classical music and will try to get a ferrari...

before u know it, mid life crisis welcomes u into it's arms..


he was a good teenager, and fought for long.
but his wisdom tooth came, and his youth was gone.


Saturday, July 08, 2006

what GAP?

warning: this has nothing to do with that fashion label.... read on..

you know, the other day,

my mom and me got talking.. and looking through her school and college pics, made me realise that the so called generation gap, is not aboutdifferent ideas, or attitudes.. hell no... ask you parents how their teenage days went.

they would list their favorite music, which would include western music, they would have tried experimenting with their looks, clothes.. they too, like us, would have believed in same illusion- that we discovered what love feels like..

only the names would have changed.. the bell bottoms of yesterday, have become the pedal pushers of today( i can hear the divas, goin- " pedal pushers, are like, so yesterday!!!")

the elvis and beatles have been replaced by today's pop assembly line icons.. ( fact is though, none of today's greats, could hold a "candle in the wind" to the greats of those days)

the cary grant and gregory peck has been replaced by the tom cruises of today( dont worry, i cringed while writing this line too)..

point is though, that we grow up, believing that we are so unlike our parents, that it's next to impossible to make them see the truth( " You wouldnt understand dad, you have never been in love!")..

but as i looked at my mom's photo, where her 'gang'(her words, not mine) and her, posed with their arms around each's shoulders, i was struck at how yours truly too, had taken a pic in the exact pose...

i think it's time we acknowledged the truth of our predicament.. the fact is, there exists not a generation gap, but one of communication..

few of us have the ability, to carry on a conversation, entirely in one language.. sooner or later, english or hindi, will make their presence felt..

and honestly, if one were to read the english that our grandparents had to endure, at their school level, i am not sure how many of us would emerge unscathed, from the rigours of spellings and grammar.

nothing can be( should be, could be, actually ;) ) greater proof of this, than the mushrooming of the english speaking classes all around you..

i see some students, handle math and science with ease, but tremble at the prospect of entering the group discussion or public speaking opportunities..

and how many of us could actually speak for an hour, without some expletives creeping into our talk? very few of us, i am sure..

and let's get started started on the most essential area, which has become non existent almost, today..

the art of letter writing..

growing up in an era of TV, and phones, and mailing and chatting, it's not a surprise to me, that the basic and beautiful art of letter writing, has become a relic of a glorious past..

reading the letters written by my dad to his dad, i was struck by the beautiful composition of it, and the symphonic structuring of the letter.. when i asked him, on how he could come up, with such poignant verse, he had a simple observation to make.

" each letter, to me, representd an oppurtunity, to communicate with someone, to tell them, what was my current state of mind. and such opportunities presented themeselves rarely.. maybe once or twice a month, if you could save enough.. so, each letter was crafted with care... i approached it like a scripting session.. made rough copies, re read it, and read it again.."

they took care to see to it, that each letter was one worth cherishing. and such handwriting!!! sigh! seeing the letters my parents wrote to each other, in the months following their engagement, i am entirely convinced, that insofar as handwriting goes, i am truly the black sheep in the family.

but i digress. the point i am trying to make, is that in today's times, we take every thing for granted.. but somewhere down the line, in the pursuit of ease of communication, we lost the penchant for the beauty of careful prose..

think over this.. ten years from now, what will remain of the chats, or conversations that you have had? mere text files, subject to the horrors of magnetism..

you can never wrap them up in cloth, to be looked at again whever you wanted.. you can never look at a computer screen and become wistful.. somehow, paper is the best medium for making one thoughtful..

sure, we have made tremendous economic and social progress..but still, somehow, we have become stilted, when it comes to making our fellow beings, understand what we wish t tell them..

imagine this.. even today, if in the office or class, u see a person who is extraordinarily proficient in english, the most common epithet that is bestowed on him/her is " shakespeare"..

400 years have passed, yet he remains the benchmark, by which we measure the lingual abilities of people.. and find everyone, wanting...

Friday, July 07, 2006

anger management

you know, on the other day, someone i know, asked me- " how the hell, did you manage to get a job? that too at !@@$( it's a company, but i dont have time for lawsuits and suits of any kind)...
some guys have all the luck..."

well, you know, Mr. unnamed friend, you really pissed me off.. so, i wanted to get back at you.. but if there's one thing that i have realised, over the 22 years that i have spent on terra firma(well grounded childhood helps), it's that good revenge is like a meal.. the longer you take to prepare, the better it tastes...

so, i let my anger simmer in me, and then, decided, to mash it all in, and heat in the oil of indignance, and generously sprinkle it, with loads of abuse...

imagine my surprise, when, upon opening the larder of imagination, i found it to be utterly empty... like a locust had held a party and had left only emptiness behind...

" this just wont do", i promised myself... " i am capable of venomous spite, wont give in, without a fight!!"...

so, i started to look for a reason to be angry with the world again... i tried to develop a short temper... i snapped at all those people, whom i knew... i pulled strings, which i knew, would lead supporting structures to collapse..

but nothing worked out... even the pup, whom i growled at, laughed and continued wagging it's tail... i could almost hear it say- " ok two legged funny thing... you got a very high voice, can we get on with the playing please?"

it's disappointing to know, that one of the fundamental rights are being taken away from me... the right to anger..

imagine if there was no anger.... no angry young man, no angry middle aged young man, no angry old man, no angry T Rex, no angry politician( in same order)....

so, i am demanding my right, to be recognised as a human being, capable of anger, and demand that i be treated with avoidance and anger , in return..

it's the democratic thing to do..

Thursday, July 06, 2006

an idle mind and other such things

well, i like to write good night rhymes once in a while.. and pester me friends to read them. so, here's a sample of the inane stuff they have to put up with... and i swear that these are 100 % original....

and much thanks to hema, for collecting them and sending them to me.. u rock :)


Let the stars twinkle tonight,
when they gaze upon your sleeping face.
Good night :-)


Let your mind set at rest,
The world of dreams is the best.
free of trouble,worry and fights,
sleep well and early,have a good night!


The sky is ready,lovely blanket.
Winds are ready,soothing feather.
Nightingale ready to serenade.
As u make your sleep,in your bed.


Fret not on what could have been,
focus insteadon what can be.
Happiness you should keep,
as the innocent make their way to sleep.


Bid adieu to the day of light.
Hate and anger,sorrow and fright.
Laughter,joy,unlimited delight..
await the one who sleeps tonight.


i walkin the clouds,float in the air.
Divein the seas,frollic in the fair.
Of so much happiness do i partake.
must i wake? oh! must i wake!


I am a car running on empty,
A weary traveller looking for respite.
The oasis of dreams lie in my sight,
I trudge on,hoping to reach it tonight.


I have sunk like the titanic, in my lake of sorrow.
Grief of today, can't face tomorrow.
No one from whom, glee i could borrow.
my heart lies stabbed, on the mark of an arrow.


Oh what a tangled web we weave.
Only in end to us decieve.
time does not heal,te ones who grieve.
pain and suffering is all they recieve.


The smell of floowers, warmth of the sun.
A cheerful smile, mark summer's return.
Time for many tales to unfold,
eternal beauty - a joy to behold.


Even on the darkest night,
when nothing lies in sight.
i look to my heart,
it guides me right.
my memories remain my greatest might.
forever burning, ever bright.


I wear an armor, of the thickest hide.
Alone in battle, enemies i smite.
yet slowly i bleed my way to death.
The rose over my heart, thorn in the flesh...


Tired bones,weary sighs, feel that drag all while.
sad times, happy climes, make you glad to be alive.
with that thought, hope you sink in bed so deep,
that the prying hands of the world,won't snatch you from your sleep..


I have missed it the whole day, won't miss it at night.
The face i search for, burn into my sight.
The face that makes me hate, being all alone.
The face that has made my heart,it's own.


Why hath man wrought his blight?
Why kill children,destroy life?
plague the lands, endlessly consume.
erect all buildings,can't see the moon.


The tallest trees starts as a seed.
Earth can move with smallest deed.
One thing satys through hell and after.
Ties of blood run thicker then water.


A heart is fragile, yet we load it with worries.
The mind isn,t agile, to play out our stories.
flesh and bone we are,be happy instead.
a night's rest lies ahead.


courage lies in the heart, not the might o arms.
Wisdom is eternal, not bodily charm.
conscience is the father of the soul.
Keep these in mind, as you reach your goal.


With the passing of day,and onset of night.
The best days of life are taking flight.
i laugh while others despair.
vanity shall never me ensnare.


The oldest wine tastes divine.
Oldest tree has the toughest spine.
ages makes one frail, but also wise.
Savour each day, life's spice.

rest will follow