Saturday, August 26, 2006

My Very Educated Mother Just Showed Us Nine (Blank)

yeah, that's right. this is a post, about one of the most monumental moments in my life.. you know, how it is, when, you are told, that the idol you have worshipped for so long, had feet of clay.

you feel a tear bubbling under your eyes, then the floddgates open, and good bye, calm persona...

the events over last 3 days, have left me with little faith in humanity now.. nothing, it seems, is sacred any more... there is nothing that a bunch of human beings will not descerate, in the name of progeressive science..

i speak of course, of the removal of Pluto, from the exalted council of planets..

my astrologer uncle, told me, that he had foreseen this calamity( " It was under the influence of Saturn you know, very very evil planet!!").. And never once did he warn us, about it..

imagine, an entire childhood of naming Pluto, as one of the nine planets.. the number of quizzes, that i won, just because i was the only guy, who knew the name of that " Small, blue planet, outtest(sic) in solar system".. what happens to the results of those quizzes now, huh?

there was an irritating guy , who was my nemesis, in 2nd std. we used to battle it out in quizzes, and exams( now, of course, even harbouring such thoughts, of competing for scholastic achievements, on my part, require the greatest suspension of belief, in mankind's history)..

and we were even stevens, right upto 5th, where i beat him in a quiz, which asked us to name the outermost planet.

and on the same day, in my GK test, i wrote the nine planets in order(courtesy the title of this post)..

needless to say, i was up, in our tally(something like 11-10, in my favor).. and then, i left Jamshedpur..

needless to say, that guy grew up in a complex, the memories of his defeat to me(he told me once- " of all the people in this country, why did i lose to YOU!!!!!"), scarred him emotionally, completely..

now, with this news, do my answers, stand incorrect now? does this mean that we have a status quo still? will it ever make him a normal human being again? does this mean, that whatever ego i had, because of this, must now shrivel and die?

and it's not just this... now textbooks will have to be corrected.. maps will have to be republished.. teachers will have to be retrained, in astronomy, to get rid of the habit..

Disney will have to come up with another reason, for naming Pluto (what else?) Pluto..

there will be books, about conspiracies against a poor innocent planet, by the Big brother, Arrogant Earth( Jupiter sighs, due to gas problems).. there will be counter claims, by the scientists, who will justify their decisions.

there will be an outcry on the internet, where people will spend 10 min more, per week, to put their opinion.. and i have spent 20 so far, btw..

then, Hollywood wont let go of this oppurtunity. either Discovery, or Warner Bros., will launch a space probe, make a Docu/ Film called " Pluto : Planet or Not!!"..

and Nasa will get more funds, to prove, once and for all, if Pluto is or is not a planet..

all in all, around 3 Billion $ will move around the globe...

i smell something fishy here.. i invite my good conspiracy theorist friend, to look into it..

Entrez Vous, Dan Brown..