Resolving Resolutions

So two more months are almost up in what looks to be yet another addition to my lackluster life. And conforming to precedents, i made two resolutions. one is still going strong ( i would continue to wallow in self mockery and self pity) while i have fallen off the wagon on the other.

i made a solemn vow to shed that ugly bulge that manages to make itself prominent on the sides. and just about everywhere else. i made this solemn promise while looking into the mirror (eye of the tiger in the background).. and couldnt help notice my triple chin do the best imitation of a ripple. when i growled.. or was that my stomach?

wish i could cut to a montage of me running on the beach, lifting heavy trunks of wood, smashing blocks of concrete, changing the earth's orbit with my pushups etc. and finally, coming back to the mirror and marvelling at the rock hard abs and rippling biceps.. keyword - " WISH"..

woke up for three mornings straight, and proceeded to sleep straight away. getting ready for office is tough right?

evenings fared no better. somehow, coming home always coincided with dinner. which can't be postponed AT ANY COST!! but something had to give somewhere..

enter brainwave, bulb lighting up, apples falling from trees, bath tubs and the like... i found the perfect formula.. no carbs, no proteins, no fats... no problem..

how much time does it take for laser to come back from the moon? how much time does it take for a chocolate bar to enter the mouth? that's about how long my resolution lasted..

end result, i have to get myself new pair of pants, shirts and shoes.. but hey, dont knock it. i am a member of the time honored " Healthy Indian" club. i dont mind that i leave a lasting impression on the road, or that it takes 5 people to sit in the back, to balance the taxi out. or that the lift screams in agony whenever some moron steps in with me.. seriously those people need to lose weight...

see, my brutal honesty is intact as ever. now if you dont mind, i have that wonderful milkshake to catch up with.