anniversary

yeah, it's true.. despite what you might have thought, and all the misgivings that i might have had, archiry continues on, for another year..

and i owe it all, to all those, who didn't read me first 30 posts, something which would have prompted a setting up of stop this blog community, on orkut...

too late, those ridiculous posts are lost to humanity forver.. cos better sense prevailed( for once), and i deleted those first attempts of mine...

as a sample though, there are a few weaker ones, thAT i have left untouched...

so, a year on, what has changed?

well, for starters, no one would have believed it back then, but months have gone by, without any india matches.. imagine, our players complaining, that they arent getting enough matches!!!

Darrell, Zizou and Agassi, were Hair today, and gone tomorrow( though the exits were remarkably different, in nature and grace).. and if reports are to be believed( OH, SAY IT AIN'T SO, PLEEEEAAAASE!!!!) Michael has lost the drive, and politely said F! to motorsport( yeah, go ahead agnostic guy, ur sarcasm is awaited :) )

Superman Return(ed) to earth, to find that the world has gone by, and learned to live without him.. and that no one welcomes him, anymore.. and i am not just talking about the movie's script here, oh no..

the Left continues to play that child's game, we call In/Out, with the congress.. and the Bechaara Jungli Politicians watch on helplessly, sunk into the ground, by a " Mole" in their midst..

TamilNadu said "AMMA stop that" , and moved onto younger leaders( HAAH!! Like that's gonna ever happen!!)

Preity Zinta's hubby goes abroad for 2 years, without returning, and she gives birth to a superboy... this logic, Krrishi se mat kehna..

and poor female, has to lose a husband, to a frigid ice queen(Ash got competition, at last), and no one felt bad... in fact, a friend of mine said " Kabhi Karan Na Kehna"

the Pm's Nuclear Energy deal blew up in his place... catty sources said the idea was destined to bomb out, in the first place..

we still have no idea, what Sonia Gandhi really looks like, after that famous " i listened to my inner voice" , which , some say, exclaimed " Mama Mia"...

Natwar Singh remains a foreign neta, within the congress.

TN is the only state, where rice is cheap.. 2 per Kilo.. beat that, anyone?

on a personal note,

my weight chart went haywire, like a ship in a stormy sea.
my hairline is showing remarkable rates of decceleration.. in fact, it's just 200 Mph short of creating a sonic boom.
and my heart still lies safely ensconced within the confines of my chest, much to my friends eternal suspicion and disbelief..

so, all in all, not a bad year.. best thing of course, was that Lara Croft made a smashing return to the console, and to my heart.. that of course, is the subject of my other blog( ZZT!! shameless plug)..

so, thanks y'all, for reading and commenting.

know this,

no matter who you are, or where you are,

DONT TRY THIS, ON YOUR BLOG!!
;)

My Very Educated Mother Just Showed Us Nine (Blank)

yeah, that's right. this is a post, about one of the most monumental moments in my life.. you know, how it is, when, you are told, that the idol you have worshipped for so long, had feet of clay.

you feel a tear bubbling under your eyes, then the floddgates open, and good bye, calm persona...

the events over last 3 days, have left me with little faith in humanity now.. nothing, it seems, is sacred any more... there is nothing that a bunch of human beings will not descerate, in the name of progeressive science..

i speak of course, of the removal of Pluto, from the exalted council of planets..

my astrologer uncle, told me, that he had foreseen this calamity( " It was under the influence of Saturn you know, very very evil planet!!").. And never once did he warn us, about it..

imagine, an entire childhood of naming Pluto, as one of the nine planets.. the number of quizzes, that i won, just because i was the only guy, who knew the name of that " Small, blue planet, outtest(sic) in solar system".. what happens to the results of those quizzes now, huh?

there was an irritating guy , who was my nemesis, in 2nd std. we used to battle it out in quizzes, and exams( now, of course, even harbouring such thoughts, of competing for scholastic achievements, on my part, require the greatest suspension of belief, in mankind's history)..

and we were even stevens, right upto 5th, where i beat him in a quiz, which asked us to name the outermost planet.

and on the same day, in my GK test, i wrote the nine planets in order(courtesy the title of this post)..

needless to say, i was up, in our tally(something like 11-10, in my favor).. and then, i left Jamshedpur..

needless to say, that guy grew up in a complex, the memories of his defeat to me(he told me once- " of all the people in this country, why did i lose to YOU!!!!!"), scarred him emotionally, completely..

now, with this news, do my answers, stand incorrect now? does this mean that we have a status quo still? will it ever make him a normal human being again? does this mean, that whatever ego i had, because of this, must now shrivel and die?

and it's not just this... now textbooks will have to be corrected.. maps will have to be republished.. teachers will have to be retrained, in astronomy, to get rid of the habit..

Disney will have to come up with another reason, for naming Pluto (what else?) Pluto..

there will be books, about conspiracies against a poor innocent planet, by the Big brother, Arrogant Earth( Jupiter sighs, due to gas problems).. there will be counter claims, by the scientists, who will justify their decisions.

there will be an outcry on the internet, where people will spend 10 min more, per week, to put their opinion.. and i have spent 20 so far, btw..

then, Hollywood wont let go of this oppurtunity. either Discovery, or Warner Bros., will launch a space probe, make a Docu/ Film called " Pluto : Planet or Not!!"..

and Nasa will get more funds, to prove, once and for all, if Pluto is or is not a planet..

all in all, around 3 Billion $ will move around the globe...

i smell something fishy here.. i invite my good conspiracy theorist friend, to look into it..

Entrez Vous, Dan Brown..

Need For Speed 2

this is more of a PS to what i wrote yesterday. so if you havent read that piece, then please read this after you have finished reading part 1.

right, i will make this really brief...

i mentioned the power to weight ratios yesterday.. i realise that i might have left picture incomplete . so here's the list of P2W ratios, for those interested..

Bugatti Veyron- 529 BHP/tonne

Zonda F Clubsport- 521( this is the production version, the first prototype, without any cockpit, reached a 1000 BHP/tonne figure)

Ferrari Enzo-483

Koenigsegg CCX-765!

now, to put things into perspective, here's the specification for the 2006 F1 car, made up by the FIA..

The 2006 F1 cars have a power-to-weight ratio of 1250 hp/tonne (930 W/kg)

that translates into some dizzying numbers.. like

0 to 100 km/h: 1.9 seconds
0 to 200 km/h: 3.9 seconds
0 to 300 km/h: 8.4 seconds

an F1 car can come to a complete stop from 300 km/h in less than 3.5 seconds. without locking UP!!!!

so, here's to all the petrosexuals( i came across this term in autocar india)...
DREAM ON!!!

need for speed!!!

most of my teenage nights were spent in fantasies( Not those kind, you pervert you!!!).. while some of those did involve skydiving, climbing Mt Everest, and getting a Nobel prize( it's a fantasy people!!!), some nights, in my dreams, a blur of scarlet would appear, and my dream would break up.

I would wake up, hold my head in my hands, and check them tears.... but that vision of holding the steering wheel, with the prancing horse in it, would prove so moving, and the realisation that most likely, i might one day die and be forgotten in the annals of time, without ever experiencing the force of 2 G, as an enzo sets off, overwhelmed me..( yeah i know, the Enzo came much after the ashes of my teenage years lay to rest somewhere, so substitute a modena there)

i am still nowhere remotely close to having my dream realised, but the last few months have slowly forced me to create a space, in the enshrined hallow that me mind had set apart, for ferrari..

2 companies, by the names of Pagani, and Koenigsegg( go on, try pronouncing it ;) ), have increased my agony.. now, i fear that i may die, without ever touching a Ferrari, or a Zonda or, that masterpiece, every millionaire worth his dollar's dream, the CCX..

now for a flashback.. way back, around 1986, there was a little known car called the McLaren F1..

now, anyone who has driven it, would tell you, that it was like a deathwish, driving that car, and that most people actually took mind numbing injections, to supress their fear, while driving it.

ok, maybe that last bit was an exaggeration, but still, fact is, it shattered the speed record for a production car, clockin in that magic number, that all car lovers have memorised( like bradman's average), 241 MPH (385 KPH) on a straight. And drove straight into many car freaks hearts.

that record held for nealy 18 years.. seems incredible isnt it? that despite all the progress we made in that time, a car made in 86 was still the fastest on the planet..

well, you have to remember, that 241 MPH was made on a straight piece of airway tarmac..
in those intervening years, cars have become faster around the corners( the SLR is faster than the F1 , in corners, by around 40 MPH), and much safer to drive..

so, anyways, in 2002, came the koenigsegg CCR, which came straight off the production line, lined up on the test track, and clocked in 242 MPH!!!

the earth split, and skies cracked, and Mclaren almost panicked..
to get a sense of what actually happened, just imagine a newcomer in brazil, entering the world cup for the 1st time, and scoring 10 goals in one tournament..

so, the CCR held the record, but, in came TOP GEAR with a new format, and they have a pretty good lap setup, for cars to prove how fast they are, overall..

every episode since, they have a chart, which maintains the lap times posted by cars, driven by that man, every child wants to be, THE STIG(will we ever get know, if he's human or not??)

well, till a few months ago, the top car was the masterpiece of automobile engg(i am a full blooded TIFOSI, so shoot me) was the ENZO.

then, Pagani, a small company, came in with the Zonda F, which had a 500 BHP engine.. nothing remarkable on the surface, but the car weighed only 500 KG!! that makes a power to weight ratio of 1000 BHP/ tonne!!

sure enough, the Zonda came in at the top... and all looked well, for the dreamers like me..

Enter Bugatti, with the Veyron.. if you havent heard of it, shame on you.. it costs around 700,000 pounds, and, this is where it gets interestin, apparently, has a top speed of ( hold your breath!!) 405 KPH!!!! that's right, 405..

so,anyways, the problem was, bugatti are very secretive about the car. only a few pieces have been sold to select buyers( which includes the like of Beckham).. more to it, they have refused to let Even Jeremy Clarkson, feature it on the show, making people suspect, that, maybe, just maybe, bugatti concentrated too much on straight line, and cut around the corners(pun intended).

remember i had mention koeningsegg earlier? there's a reason..

they decided, that for far too long, they had languished in the background, and was time to assert themselves..

they released the CCX.. if ever there was poetry on 4 wheel, this was it, my friends.. an 850 BHP V6 engine, screamed F1 performance..

and it did.. on Top gear, it shattered the Enzo's record, by a fair mile.. only after, it challenged the mighty STIG and forced him to crash(the only car, that proved too much for him)..

and this is the best part, the car posted it's time, AFTER, they put rear spoilers on the car(which actually slows the car around cars, by generating excessive downforce)..

like putting 1 KG shoes on Powell, and him still braking the olympic record..

and the CCX posted 398 KPH, right out of the box...

the thing that most of us swift watching, and enzo dreaming guys are anticipating this year, is a straight down drag strip battle between the veyron and the CCX...

and, there go my nights again!! sigh!!!

and if you want to, check both these beauties out on the net. SIGH!!! if only....